03 Apr SUNDAY, APRIL 3, 2022
It’s six days before Passover and Jesus returns to the home of close friends. Ahhh, friends. Not people you’re generally stuck with, but ones you choose to hang with. They may be coworkers, fellow students, neighbors or relatives. But, what best defines a friend is how they make you feel: happy, comfortable and accepted.
Over time, friends develop history. Their relationship is nurtured by mutual appreciation and increasing depth of understanding. When life gets challenging, you want to spend time in their company. Perhaps Jesus was hoping to chill with friends before dying on the cross. He knew their door was always open to him. More than once, Martha, Mary and Lazarus had said, “Wish we could see more of you. Please stop by whenever you’re near Bethany.”
Martha didn’t really mind. In fact, cooking and serving for the brother she’d almost lost and the guy who saved his life would be a blessing. We’ve experienced the intimacy they share. Physical closeness to each other as we gather round a table, picking up the scent of a meal cooking, the hint of something extra sweet or special. After sitting and eating close at hand, Mary anoints Jesus’ feet, then wipes them with her hair. After eating, folks like to recline and relax, right?
So the appearance of Judas and hearing what he has to say seems all the more disturbing. Who let him in? How did he get a whiff of what was happening here? How rude to intrude.
While Martha, Mary, and Lazarus represent an archetype for siblings and friends, Judas represent an archetype for those who wish to stir things up and cause trouble.
As a pot stirrer and troublemaker, Judas does what comes naturally: points a finger and states the obvious, notes the price, says what’s been spent is too little or too much. Speaks of waste and lays blame, distrusts other people’s intentions. You see, there’s nothing new about what defines a friend or what constitutes an enemy. One affirms and appreciates every effort being made and the other can only find fault. Lord, have mercy.
Judas is a good example of one who likes to rant and rave about what’s already happened that’s not to their liking. Who doesn’t actually offer constructive advice. Their response comes too late. Their anger seeks only to destroy the mood. By pointing to alternative solutions, they can appear superior yet their alternatives cannot be proven true. Not now, at least. Saying, “You should’ve, could’ve, or why didn’t you,” is rarely helpful. But I say those words all the time.
In spite of how much a person with good intentions attempts to educate, reorient, or point to alternative methods, doing so disrupts intimacy. Martha herself had proved so when she pointed out how Mary left her to do all the work, and how Jesus had arrived late, causing her brother to suffer and die needlessly. She knew that even when words express passion and disappointment, intimacy suffers. Perhaps Judas had a passion for accountability and charity. Without the side note about him stealing from the coiffers, he may well have been moral and compassionate.
There is more to friendship and love than oversight of surrounding circumstances and other people. When what’s happening agrees with our particular tastes or purposes, we’re fine. But when they fail, we often act like Judas, or at least I do. Move on, change allegiances. Go forward with a different agenda. Lord, have mercy.
The story of these five individuals is still told today because at least five people today need to learn from them. We need guidance on how to make relationships survive criticism and endure. We need to learn how we as individuals, a church and country can come together, accept people as they are, when they fail to meet our expectations, fail to deliver, as hoped for, on time or as promised. Passionate speech can make one appear consistent, to really care and even seem to offer good advice, but passionate speech can’t redeem.
Sometimes, I identify with being more like a lesser Judas than a great friend. I misjudge people’s intentions and sometimes take cheap shots after someone performs at their worst. How does Jesus, by contrast, address Judas after he does so?
Jesus speaks directly and firmly, calling for the attack to cease. He doesn’t return the attack, or even fight on Mary’s behalf. He calmly explains that Mary’s intentions were good, her actions necessary. He ordered the one who spoke out of turn to hush by saying, “Leave her alone. She understands more than you know of what has happened, is happening and will happen. Today, she and her siblings have helped me prepare for the day of my death and burial.”
You will not always have me in this way. His friends couldn’t wait to offer hospitality. They had planned in advance to offer a gift when the time was right. The time is right for us to prepare in advance to be hospitable. The time is right to set aside a gift for someone who has not yet arrived. A gift that shows how valuable you consider their presence. The time is also right to give to the poor. They are still with us as Jesus foretold.
Six days before Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus whom he had raised from the dead. Perhaps Jesus wanted a reminder that resurrection was possible and to see whether death had truly been erased. Was his first attempt to defeat death still successful and holding? Could he himself be so lucky as to be raised by the Father? He sure hoped so.
Judas asks a simple honest question, “Why was this perfume not sold?” Jesus gives him a simple honest answer. “Why? Because she was keeping it for the day of my burial. Each part of that day provided all of them a chance to grieve in anticipation of loss.
Perhaps what Judas resented most was feeling like an outsider, discovering that his nose had drawn him to a place where his presence was an intrusion. An afternoon of intimate friendship was something he didn’t know. Perhaps his challenging, confrontational statements were the result of painful jealousy for attention and affection.Judas wasn’t always a bad guy. Why had no one invited him for a meal or wished to anoint his feet?
Jesus demonstrates how moments of bliss in life may be interrupted, but not ruined. In less than a week, he would suffer brutal death and enter the netherworld for days. But that particular day he received the greatest gifts, the gifts of friendship and accountability.
You see, it takes all kinds of friends and adversaries to teach everyone what they have to learn. And God knows that by virtue of time spent in each other’s company and the value of our shared experience, we’re going to become close. That’s what the future can hold for every family and church.
If you think about it, no one but Jesus was aware of how close death was. I think his gift to all people is this: recognize who and what is precious. Recognize that all our time and resources are limited, so don’t waste any of them. Take advantage of opportunities to get together or get involved. Spare no expense to help others understand their worth. Learn that becoming close and preserving relationships is priceless. Even when interrupted or disturbed, they are not ruined.
Like Jesus, let’s be grateful for the presence of each other and for all that we’ve shared. Like the five gospel characters, the lot of us are on a dramatic adventure, a challenge full of choices and conflict. Each week we’re reminded of limitations, but there’s beauty in that. Life is like expensive oil, you can’t return it, once it’s been poured out. All you can do is decide to enjoy the moment, take in the fact that you’ve been anointed. The jar was broken for your sake.
Self-awareness is key. Jesus, his friends, and even Judas knew what they wanted. They could defend their choices when asked. Can you? Can you answer this question, “Why do you choose to spend your time and resources one way rather than another? And consider this, if it’s not too late and in the realm of possibility, care for persons with unmet needs, that may include yourself, a family member, a friend or adversary. Let us pray.
God, thanks for letting us see ourselves in another gospel story and for teaching us. Increase our mutual appreciation and understanding of each other. Help us take advantage of opportunities to connect and find companionship offered by you. Make our lives more interdependent and shared with satisfaction.
Challenge and fill us with the depth of your love and the appreciation you have for all things. Help us savor special moments, especially communion, the exchange of intimate thoughts and feelings, where bread and wine are consecrated and shared. In your holy name for all things tangible, mental and spiritual, we pray. Amen.